Pervy Britney
“Britney Spears slid down a stripper’s pole in front of 13,300 people, then walked over to a bed and pretended to hump a dude. This came right after she sang a ballad called ‘Touch of My Hand,’ during which she stripped off a white robe, revealing a nude body suit, and rubbed both hands over herself while on her back in a motion simulating masturbation. There’s nothing wrong with that in my book, in theory. But in reality, B.S.’s new tour is an unfocused bore of false sexuality, horrible songs, trite choreography, unfocused themes and less ambition than a house cat that sits around licking itself all day.” — Las Vegas Review-Journal.com (US)
For the last week or so, it’s been hard to go fishing for perversion in the great cesspool of news out there without hooking Britney Spears on the line. Apparently Ms. Spears has just kicked off her latest tour, and her stage show, nominally set in a place called the Onyx Hotel, features threesomes, masturbation, bondage, and homosexuality — all of it, naturally, as simulated as her vocals. (One reviewer made the sharp observation that, in spite of her acrobatic dance maneuvers, you never quite hear her huff or puff through the microphone. Could it be — gasp! — that the great chanteuse lip-syncs her songs?)
The reporter from the Las Vegas Review-Journal, who writes with great humor, claims that Ms. Spears’ show is so downright bad that its blatant sexuality can’t even generate any useful controversy or publicity. To look at it another way, though, it’s hard to see in this post-Madonna age why threesomes, masturbation, bondage, and homosexuality would generate any controversy regardless of how well it was done. If President Bush were to masturbate with a group of handcuffed gay guys, it might send a ripple or two across the newswire — but for a pop entertainer to indulge in the same? We’d be more shocked if Britney didn’t do it, wouldn’t we?
All of which makes you wonder if Ms. Spears isn’t just the best-paid stripper in America. After all, if she doesn’t really sing during her “live” performances, if she just prances around and shakes her cute little booty, then what’s to distinguish her from any other pole-dancer? Maybe she doesn’t let you tuck dollar bills into her brassiere, maybe she doesn’t offer you a handjob in the bathroom so she can have enough money to buy some blow on the way home, but still — if her concerts amount to strip shows or to simulated sex exhibitions such as you used to be able to see in Times Square, then isn’t Ms. Spears just a glorified stripper?
I think this is a tremendously healthy development, actually, and probably a sign that her career is near its end, if she doesn’t eventually whip out the sort of depth and change that Madonna has. Britney has been the highest-paid multimedia whore in America since the late ’90s; but whereas she used to titillate in schoolgirl outfits and proclaim virginity, she’s now a completely open whore. Theoretically, it’s more healthy for the country to lust after a classy hooker than a schoolgirl, right?
It’s also a natural progression; if you’re an entertainer who mostly sells sex, you have to keep upping the ante to keep the public interested. We’re seeing the moment where the initial teen drama has morphed into full-blown hardcore porno, just shy of the exposed cocks and facials. It’s the farthest out that she can get without turning into actual X-rated material, and I don’t think the record label would support that. So maybe she’s finally near the end of her career cycle, and this vaunted “comeback” is really just Ms. Spears’ career finally blowing its wad on the face of America?
I might take these entries seriously if there wasn’t an ad at the top of the page for the ultimate guide to anal sex for women.
(of course, fist the was simply The guide to Anal sex; Now Ultimate Guide; next, Penultimate Guide. Or Fundamentals of anal sex for women……, get it? *funda –* o, nevermind.)
“… just a glorified stripper?”
Just? Only? whassamatter? from glorified Mousekateer to glorified stripper, natural progession…. just the American Dream is all. Or one of them, the major one being Lottery Winner, where you don’t even have to perform a striptease, just buy a ticket. In more innocent times:
http://www.geocities.com/britneyzone88/gallery/image11.jpg
the sad thing is there are parents who didn’t think that they should look for press releases about the content of this tour before taking their little girls to see miss brit. a friend of mine was subjected to one of these shows (one of her pals wanted someone to go with) and witnessed parents covering their kids eyes and fleeing the theater. granted, parents should theoretically be on top of things, especially where their kids are concerned, but to your average parent who hears britany on her kids radio and thinks her worst transgression is wearing skimpy outfits (i asked my mom what she new about britany, and the answer was nothing except for lame songs and skirts), they may think nothing of indulging their kids in a night out.
Britney Spears rocks my WORLD!!!!!!!!!!
I LUV UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Britney Spears has the best voice and the best songs, she’s also HOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!! who cares if she’s a little slutty, we all have our bad days , dont we?
I fart out more interesting things than britney
i say ounce white trailer trash always white trailer trash, no matter how much money or how much make-up she wears she’s still a no talent, who can’t sing and needs an army of music and sound technitions to even sound bearly decent,thats why she lip syncs then theres the her totally manufactured looks iv’e pictures of her(it) without make-up and photoshop touch ups shes nothing to look at i wouldn’t give her even a first glance.
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