New York Treesome
“A pre-op transsexual and ‘her’ male lover yesterday stripped off their clothes, climbed up a Central Park tree, then spent four hours engaging in sex acts and pelting would-be rescuers with profanity and branches… ‘It’s a treesome,’ one cop said of the loony lovebirds… The arboreal aberration attracted hundreds of gawkers and left dozens of emergency personnel stumped… Firefighters set up an inflatable rescue mattress around the base of the tree, where the pair had left their clothes and a plastic bag filled with what cops called an assortment of drugs. The Parks Department sent in two cherry-picker trucks. Emergency Service Unit cops ascended in harnesses. Police hostage negotiators recorded their demands: One Diet Vanilla Pepsi. But up in the larch tree — a rare evergreen with pine-like needles — the 32-year-old, female-breasted transsexual in a purple thong continued cursing, and her 17-year-old blond boyfriend in boxer shorts cowered in apparent fright… ‘We thought it was an ecological statement for Earth Day, but it’s just transvestites,’ said Brian Mallard, 26, of Long Island City.” — New York Post (US)
(Thanks to alanr for the link.)
One of the things the tourist brochures don’t tell you about New York in general and Central Park in particular is that you never quite know when you’ll stumble on an impromptu love nest. Think about it. All you suburbanites have your cars to grope in, and all you people who live in the country can find a corn field or an old hay barn somewhere. But when you live in a densely populated city, where are you supposed to find the space for some spontaneous whoopee? A lot of people turn to the parks. PervScan had some friends who took their young son boating in Central Park. The boat nudged into some reeds — and what sight do you think the poor young boy had to endure? Two men doing what two men do when one of them acts like a woman.
New Yorkers who read the story of this “treesome” will no doubt recognize it for the quintessentially metropolitan tale that it is. Best of all is the sang froid implicit in the reaction quote the reporter solicited from Mr. Mallard. You can practically hear him shrug his shoulders as if to say, “Well, you can see weirder things in the big city… It’s just transvestites.” And that’s about how most New Yorkers react to those little anomalies that dot the urban landscape — with bemused cynicism.
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