Abusing Somebody in a Different Room
“In a case that is believed to be the first of its kind in Scotland, Neil Ross, 31, was jailed after pleading guilty at Alloa Sheriff Court to lewd and libidinous behaviour. He got in touch with the girl, of Clackmannanshire, through an internet chat room after filling in an online profile in which he declared himself to be 19. He performed a sex act on himself as he watched the girl undress and pose in a sexually explicit manner via a live web link. Ross, of Dennistoun, Glasgow, is thought to be the first person in Scotland to be charged with sexual offences against someone in a different room… Experts said his predatory behaviour was typical of a paedophile grooming his victim for full sex.” —Scotsman (UK)
There are some obvious questions about this case that, unfortunately, none of the press accounts answer. For example, the perp deceived his victim by telling her that he was nineteen. But what age did she claim to be? This would seem to be an important element in determining how serious an offense the perp committed, and yet no one looked into the matter. Apparently Mr. Ross met his “victim” on the site faceparty.com. If you peruse this site, you quickly see that its member profiles do not allow anyone under the age of sixteen. In fact, faceparty.com’s terms of service explicitly state that the site is “designed for use by individuals that are 16 years of age or older.” Consequently, must the girl not have lied about her age to the perp as well? Did he have any idea he was dealing with a thirteen-year-old? If you browse the pictures of the self-proclaimed kids of “sixteen,” you have to wonder just how many of them might be a bit younger than that. When you sign up, there’s no mechanism to authenticate your age. You can lie that you’re older just as easily as you can lie that you’re younger.
To make matters even more ironic, listen to what the girl — who can’t be named or pictured for legal reasons — told reporters outside the courtroom: “I thought he was quite cool. He was making me feel good. The CID told me they thought he was grooming me and that this meeting was going to be when he made his move.” In other words, she didn’t feel as though she’d been abused. And as for the “grooming” part, well, of course he was grooming her! Why else would he be chatting her up? Why else would he want to meet her? The question is not what his intention was but rather what he really knew about the girl. Did Mr. Ross realize that his cyber pal was thirteen? Or did he think that she was sixteen (or older)? After all, to groom a thirteen-year-old is illegal, but to groom a sixteen-year-old is no worse than immoral.
It’s worth noting as well that the police seized Mr. Ross’ computer. Unlike so many other perps, he does not appear to have had a stash of child pornography on his hard drive. So is he really a pedophile? Or just a guy caught up in a web of lies and indiscretion?
Finally, setting aside the details of this particular case, there is a larger philosophical question at issue. Is it possible to abuse someone if you’re not even in the same room as her? On one hand, it sounds like a ridiculous question. How can you abuse somebody if you can’t even touch her? But on the other hand, there are all sorts of no-touching abuse that are already illegal. If you make obscene phone calls, especially to minors, you can get in trouble for it. If you expose yourself to schoolgirls on the street, you can get in trouble for it. If you spy on somebody in a changing room, you can get in trouble for it. All those are no-touching offenses, so it would stand to reason that you can in effect commit child abuse by remote control.
dang there goes the old “ten-foot-pole” defense
I was mentaly abused for almost a year .. this all sounds quite quaint and novel and well not that big of a deal but it was terrifying. He made threats to my life, broke my mentality multiple times, then he would rebuild me.. over time, slowly. not all at once. it, eh, like making layers of a cake. he started as a nice enough guy but over time as my weaknesses were revealed he became more and more abusive (then apologetic and desperate and said he loved me, etc.) He knew where I lived. He found it on another website I had posted a profile for myself. I was.. oh, 16 at the time? For months when ever I saw a car in my neighborhood that I didn’t reconize my heart was filled with terror that it was him with a gun. he hit things because i was so ‘inncompetant’.
So yes, you can really hurt someone over the internet. Luckily i’ve recovered from his abuse. Just took a few years.
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