“A 44-year-old Saginaw man remains jailed today on charges of bestiality after he was seen engaged in sexual acts with a dead dog, Michigan State Police troopers said. Ronald Kuch was arrested after police searched the area of Midland and Carter roads Friday for a man who ran away from a Bay County Animal Control officer. The entire incident was within view of a nearby day care center… Kuch is charged with crimes against nature and assaulting a law enforcement officer. Troopers said a woman from the day care center called for animal control because there was a dead dog near the property that had been hit by a car several days earlier. Before officers could arrive, the man showed up and began engaging in sexual acts with the dog, police said. The animal control officer also reported seeing Kuch involved in the sex act and as he approached him, Kuch shoved him away and ran off. State troopers searched the area and found the man hiding in the attic of a nearby house. Officers determined that the house belonged to the man’s girlfriend and later learned that the dog, a black Labrador retriever, also belonged to the girlfriend. The dog had been dead for four or five days. The official charge of crimes against nature carries a maximum penalty of 15 years in prison. If the person is a repeat offender, the maximum is life in prison.” — Bay City Times (US)

(Thanks to Furpo and Richard for the link.)

Just when you thought you’d seen it all, some creep somewhere ups the ante. “Dog sex,” you yawn, “haven’t we seen enough dog sex on ye olde PervScan? Bestiality is becoming boring. We want a new perversion.” Well, this isn’t a new perversion, but it certainly is an unexpected combination of two old standbys, bestiality and necrophilia. It’s not just a dog that excites Mr. Kuch, it’s a dog dead for days, a dog hit by a car, a dog that emanated that musky roadkill smell, a dog that may well have been pushing greasy red guts out through some wound in its midriff. Good thing the weather has been chilly in Michigan lately or Mr. Kuch would have found himself inadvertently molesting the dog’s maggots too.

The whole thing is hard to comprehend. It’s true that desire does not always take the beautiful as its object, and that many perversions turn precisely toward the odd and repellent. But roadkill? It’s really hard to imagine what goes through the mind of a man who can work up an erection at the sight of a dead dog. To be fair, no news article has clarified exactly what he was doing to the dog. Every blogger writing about the case presumes that the guy was fucking it somehow, and that’s not a given. Rigor mortis may have made penetration nigh impossible. The man might have been rubbing on its fur, licking its dead crotch, or trying to sodomize it with a tire iron. Who knows? Any of these would have been inappropriate in full view of a daycare center.

If in perplexity you try to figure out what must have appealed to the man, a few things come to mind. There is the least bestial explanation, which is that the man was overcome with grief for his girlfriend’s dog. Grief often makes people do bizarre things, such as tear out their hair. Maybe this guy merely acted out his grief for the dead dog in a rather too ardent manner. Or then there are the crasser possibilities. Perhaps Mr. Kuch used to fuck live dogs, but then got bit. That’s one advantage of dead dogs: you don’t have to worry about them attacking you. Another advantage of having a sexual fetish for dead dogs would simply be the sheer availability of your desiderata. Roadkill isn’t hard to find. Anytime you got horny, you could just drive around until you found a squished mammal to enjoy. It’s sure easier than all the hoops some fetishists have to jump through to satisfy themselves.

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